Soap Box - 09-MAR-2012

OK. Today, I will delve for the first time, and hopefully for the last time, into a subject that I have been debating with myself (yes, with myself) and with Jan, and some others, for years: illegal immigration.

On one hand, I am convinced that the main difference between the USA and other countries in this hemisphere and, maybe, the world, is that this is nation of laws. The vast majorities of us appreciate, understand the need for, follow, and respect the law. When it comes to immigration, if you came here to visit and stayed beyond your pre-authorized term and are still here, you broke the law; you are here illegally. If you came here via ‘channels’ that did not require for you to have and show proper documentation (passports, visas, etc.) upon entering the country, you broke the law; you are here illegally. And I agree with Rick Santorum: those illegal acts, beget more illegal acts. If you are here without the proper documentation and are working, either your employer is breaking the law by paying you ‘under the table’ or you gave them an invalid or stolen SSN or otherwise illegally manufactured; in other words, more illegal acts. I my opinion you ought to be identified, rounded up, deported and then encouraged to come back through properly established channels.

On the other hand, these ‘illegals’ (heard on TV that it is estimated to be about 10 millions of them) do jobs that full red blooded Americans, either of African or European descent (whose ancestor, by the way, might have come into this country illegally as well!), are not about to stoop down to do. The ‘illegals’ cut your loans, they build your houses, they plant your forests, the harvest your crops. And, this last point is interesting because, if we sent all the ‘illegals’ back, we need to ask ourselves questions like: are we willing to pay $15 or $20 for a heard of lettuce, or $5 for an orange, or $20 for a pound of green peppers, all picked up in the fields by the hands of those “full red blooded Americans, either of African or European descent”? I don’t know the answer to this riddle, but some folks seem to have it very clear… But all this is something I’ve thought about and talked about almost every day, for years now, so there is not too much new on it, and I offer it only as general context and a hint into my mindset…

What prompted me to write about this subject is that, on the morning of Friday 09-MAR-2012, I heard on TV that, in Alabama, some of the provisions of a recently enacted Immigration Law mandate for schools to deny enrollment to children ‘suspected’ of not having the proper documentation; tough for teachers, principals and administrators to become Border Patrol also. If punishing children for the faults of their parents is the prevalent Alabaman culture, so be it, but it is contrary to the American ethos. Let’s remember that after WWII, instead of punishing them, we chose to help a whole generation of Germans children whose parents had been Nazis, and a whole generation of Japanese children whose parents had been Hirohito and Yamamoto supporters… But there was more: some other provisions of the same law make it illegal for hospitals to provide services and assistance to people who have no documentation showing they are here legally. Now, I have not yet researched the veracity of that assertion but, if it is true, God Damn it, we’ve gone too far! Does that mean that, if there is a car accident and an illegal alien is hurt (and weather they are from Guatemala, Ghana, Korea or Bosnia they are still HUMAN BEINGS) they are to be left unattended, or otherwise pay a fine for breaking the law? And these folks (whoever may be behind this atrocity) call themselves God-fearing people? What levels of hypocrisy does it take to go every Wednesday and Sunday to Church, or every Friday to the Synagogue, or every afternoon to the Mosque, to read from The Good Book, beat their chests, praise the Lord (whichever one they may choose to worship), vow to follow teachings of Mercy, Forgiveness, care for your fellow man, and then come out and be proud of “letting the Mexican bastard die like a ownerless dog!”?

Right now, the only good thing that comes to mind regarding Alabama is Forrest Gump!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Got to London – Heathrow at around 6:05 AM; went to immigrations, then customs and finally found the dot2dot outfit for our ride to the hotel. Got to the hotel at about 9:00 AM and, although we did check in, our room would not be ready until 2PM. So we left our luggage there; freshened up a bit and took to the streets.
Had breakfast at a place on Hyde Park Rd; then went shopping at TQ Maxx; then walked around some ore and scouted out where Alex will live for the next three month (about two blocks from the hotel); finally went to Kensington Park and hung around until 2 PM, when we got our room. Later went to a local market we had spotted earlier and loaded on some basic groceries (bread, cold cuts, wine, bear).
Discovered the electrical converters I had were not good for this place… They are good for continental Europe but not for the UK; Alex had the right kind; we’ll look for some tomorrow…

Thursday, May 21, 2009
Delivered Alex to her dorm; moved her in. I had wanted to get there by 9 AM to ensure she had first dibs on everything; we did not. We got there at around 11 AM and, as luck would have it, we were still the first ones so she ended up having first dibs anyway! It is a building with 5 stories; Alex is in the 5th. The elevator only goes to the 4th. Narrow stairs and then narrow and zigzag hallways led to her room; one bed and a bunk bed; Alex got the bed and the armoire in the center of the hall way… She’s good. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Left Alex in her room and we went hunting for lunch; found a great pub: the Prince Regent pub on Gloucester Rd. Ordered some Mediterranean platters and beer. Good stuff!
Went to the hardware store and got two electrical converters…
Went to a local deli and bought some sandwiches (baguettes stuffed with stuff!).
Developed and full-fledged cold!
Had dinner at an Italian restaurant, Bella Sera; excellent!

Friday, May 22, 2009
Bought and took a double-decker bus tour around the city; went through the Center and West, then changes buses and when through the center, North and East… Feeling like shit and it is as cold as a Witch’s ear, but I hung in there…
Walk around Leicester Square, going into several souvenir stores; Jan bought a beautiful scarf… Looked around to see if we could find relatively affordable tickets for a play… The book said to better book them on-line…
Had a late lunch at the Waxy O’Connor pub (fish & chips & beer); Leah had her first taste of pub life with a pint of Stella!

Saturday, May 23, 2009
It is a little over ½ mile to the closest subway (tube) station, Gloucester Road. Three lines service it: Circle, District and Piccadilly…Bought one-week tube & bus passes (best investment ever)! For £28.00 per person we got unlimited travels on the tube and buses…
Took the District line to Tower Hill to go to the Tower of London; took a tour with one of the beefeaters (yeoman of the tower); it was both funny and enlightening… Saw the place when they held the beheadings (Ann Boleyn’s amongst others), the gate of traitors where William Wallace was “hung, drawn and quartered”, the Crown Jewels, the Henry VIII armors (in the White Tower, the armory), the Sir Walter Raleigh cell, and the torture chamber…
Right outside the tower, as we were going towards the tube station, there was a small place selling Fish & Chips; bought them again with a Stella… What a pleasure!
Took the tube back, District line, and stopped by the Westminster area… Walked around the Parliament, Westminster Abby, Whitehall, Downing Street, The mounted Guard… Leah was not feeling too well and neither was I, although I felt much better than yesterday… So we went back to the tube station and headed home… We stopped by our favorite place – Partridge – and stocked up on groceries again…

Bought tickets on-line for a play: Phantom of the Opera on Wednesday, 7:30 PM, at Her Majesty Theater, in Haymarket…

Sunday, May 24, 2009
Breakfast w/Alex. Alex came by and we all had a ham and cheese burrito breakfast… After that, we all walked to the British Museum of National History. As usual, after two hours, Jan had had enough so we all headed out to go to Camden Town to go to a street market. As we approached the tube station Leah realized she did not have her pass, so we went back to the hotel to get it; Alex took the opportunity to bail. We ended up, instead, going to Covent Garden Market via the Piccadilly line… It was excellent. We started with a Pizza lunch at the garden (most expensive pizza I’ve ever had – lunch for three came out to be about £65 (or about $102.50!)… Walked around, watched street shows, shopped around… Headed home…

Monday, May 25, 2009
Took the District line to St. James Park to try to see the changing of the guard a Buckingham Palace; no dice! It was a little cloudy, but they decided to cancel it (and didn’t tell anybody, including their web master!)… We met some people who went to school in the same neighborhood as Jan (what are the odds of that?)
We walked through the mall to Trafalgar Square, took pictures and then decided to go to the London Zoo, taking the Northern line at Charring Cross up to Camden Town. From the station it was about a ¾ mile walk to the zoo. It is an old zoo they’ve tried to modernize; although they’ve done a decent job, one can still tell it is old and small, but historic and important!
Late lunch at the zoo’s café… I had an excellent English Meat pie… Whoever said English food was bad was wrong! Went back home via the Northern line, changing to the District line at Embankment…

Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Went to the Imperial War Museum; we took the District line up to Embankment and crossed over to the Bakerloo line to get to the Lambeth North station… What an impressive array of display and memorabilia… One can spend days in there and, as prescribed, after two hours Jan was ready to leave; so we left…
Late lunch at ‘The Three Stags’ pub right at the corner of Kennington and Lambeth roads… Leah had the most expensive burger yet in her life: £9.50 (or about $14.90!). I had the vernacular Bangers and Mash!
From there we went to the Southwark Cathedral. We took the Bakerloo line from Lambeth North to Elephant & Castle where we transferred to the Northern line and got off at the London Bridge station… This cathedral has been there since 1,066 and one of his parishioners was William Shakespeare…
From there we went back to the London Bridge station and took the Northern line north to King’s Cross & St. Pancras; crossed over to the Piccadilly line and got off at Knightsbridge to go to Harrods (cannot be in London and not go to Harrods!) – Walked around the store for a while and then ended up buying an apron! Headed home….
Had dinner at a restaurant – Manor at The Gate – attached to the hotel; good!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Took the District line to St. James Park to try – again - to see the changing of the guard a Buckingham Palace; no dice!
From there we walked to the Westminster Cathedral (Catholic) on Victoria road. What an impressive place; it had not yet been finished although has been under construction for over 60 years… They had a kitchen in the basement and Jan had a vegetable soup there…
From there, we decided to go to the British Museum; for that we went to Victoria Station and took the Victoria line to Green Park and crossed over to the Piccadilly line, getting off at Russell Square… Had a great time and, again, one could spend weeks in there but, after two hours, ‘we’ were ready to go; and we left!
Had a late lunch at a pub near the museum, across from Russell Square and next door to the Russell Hotel; good stuff! Went home for a little break before the theater tonight…
‘Phantom of the Opera’ at Her Majesty Theater - Took the Piccadilly line to Piccadilly Circus and walked on Haymarket to the theater; got there a little early so we went to the “Texas Embassy” a Tex-Mex restaurant housed in the same place where White Star line used to be. Here is where tickets for the Titanic voyage were sold…
There was a sports bar next to the theater and it was full to the rafters and still there was a queue of about 200 people wanting to get in to see the match between Barcelona and Manchester United (Barça vs. ManU).
The play was very enjoyable – sorry story, impressive consumes and excellent music!
When we got out of the theater we learned that Barcelona won 2-0. Took the Piccadilly line back home…
As we were getting home, just getting out of Partridge – the market, we met up with Alex, also coming from a play. She came home with us (she was hungry), ate and drank, and then I walked her back to her place.

Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tried again for the changing of the guard a Buckingham Palace; GOT IT, FINALLY! From there we walked via Birdcage Walk towards the Thames… Walked by the British War Room buildings, Westminster Abbey, House of Parliament, Westminster Bridge, and London Eye.
Had lunch at a Noodles Place – great!
Late in the afternoon, after classes, Alex came by and the four of us went on a Pub Crawl; the drinking age here is 18 and, on the first pub we hit, Alex & Leah were carded; Alex jumoed out with her ID and I said that Leah’s was at the hotel; they let me slide… We hit 5 pubs altogether; we had a great dinner in the next to last one (Gloucester Arms); the last one was the most crowded and was across the street from Alex’s residence. One of Alex’s roommates joined us for a beer on this last one… We had fun…
Alex is on a field trip tomorrow so we said our goodbyes…

Latest happenings...

Today is Wednesday, January 07, 2009. A day like today, Papá would have turned 87 years old; he fell 85 days short. I still cannot get it through my head that he’s gone; we still had so many things to talk about; he still had so many stories, funny and not-so-funny, to tell… At times I feel he’s around, very close to me; some other times I call him to see if he can – somehow – show me he is indeed around; I’ve had no luck yet, but I’ll keep on trying…

I will call my mom today and, as expected, she will get very weepy and sentimental, rightfully so. She just turned 80 on January 1st and these were the first Christmas and New Year holidays she spent without Papá in 60 years. This will be the first birthday of his they do not get to celebrate together in 60 years! Otherwise, her health is stable although I’ve noticed traces of something she and I have always aligned against: the PLOM (Poor Li’l Ole Me) syndrome, or feeling sorry about oneself.

She is living with my sister; the apartment she and Papá had needs to be returned to its owner in March, so they’ve been working gradually on disposing of things and keeping others in order to make sure my Mom keeps the things she cherishes most and gives away other things that, although dear, they could be of better use for someone else…

Other things of note happening are:

• Jan, Alex, Leah, Lola Bo & Pancho spent the Christmas and New Year holidays in our home in Tennessee; we call it “La Casona”, Spanish for old, ancestral house. Jan went there from December 13th and the rest of us joined her on December 20th. Had a great time with new friends here in Hawk’s Bluff as well as dear old friends (Mike, Nancy, Jesse and Rocky Temperilli) and extended family (Uncle Spence, Auntie Marcia and Sassy Price, Leah’s Godparents) who came to join us in the house after Christmas and left before New Year. Alex and Leah left on the 4th; Jan and I will leave this coming Saturday, the 10th.
• We came to the realization that the old investment strategies would not allow us to recover in a few years what we built in over 20 years and lost in less than a year: better than half of our retirement funds. Therefore, we decided to invest in an equity position in PayCargo, the company I work for. At worst, we lose some more money and end up no worse of where we are anyway; at best, we rebuild in short order our retirement nest.
• Ligia, my sister, and her family continue to grow old, surviving the Venezuelan sociopolitical situation, and hoping for better days. I asked her to please put some concentrated effort on obtaining US Visas to come visit us… We’ll see…
• Last, but not least, I continue to try and keep alive my relationship with my older daughters, Clarissa Ane and Valentina Marie; I seem to be able to talk regularly, both by phone and via e-mail with; Clarissa Ane. But I am still struggling to have even a small modicum of communication with Valentina (Medical School keeps her too busy)… But, as always, I’ll keep on trying…

My Father... The Final Chapter.

Papá died at 4:20 PM local time, on Sunday, October 12^th 2008. He died in his bed, peacefully, as he became after the priest gave him the last rites. He was 86 years, 9 month and 25 days old.

 

I got to their place on Friday, October 10^th at about 11 PM.  I realized at that time the situation was more precarious that I had anticipated; as it turns out, he had deteriorated quite a bit since earlier that day when he had been able to talk to my cousin Luis who came from Carúpano to see him, and my brother-in-law César; but unfortunately, by the time I got there he was no longer able to articulate words; only unintelligible sounds... He spent a very restless night and neither Nenón nor I slept much.

 

On Saturday morning, at his request, I picked him up from bed and sat him in a wheel chair; brought him out to the living room for a little bit of natural light and fresh air; also to see if I could talk to him. I spoke to him for about an hour; I told him all about Jan and all his granddaughters from me, the house in Tennessee, my new job, all that I knew would bring him joy... He requested to go back to bed, I obliged. Subsequently I called Manolo who came right away; he ordered an IV to be applied to Papá for hydration and basic nutrition purposes. He also called me aside and said that this was only to give him a little comfort; that this was the end game; that there was no recovering from this; that even though his vital signs were still within normal range, it was a matter of a couple of days, or a couple of weeks, or a couple of months depending on the stage of his decline. Luis, my cousin, cooked for us that day and we had an early, and extraordinarily tasteful, dinner. Afterwards, Manolo gave Luis and Alba a ride down to Caracas as they were returning to Carúpano, by bus, during the night. Before leaving, Manolo said to tell Ligia to call him when Papá passed to save her lots of aggravation and paper work by being the attending and certifying physician. After cleaning up, we went to bed, and Papá continued to be very restless; sleep did not come easy during the whole night.

 

Sunday came with visitors; Papá’s cousins Zhayra, Ilse and Josefina came by at around 1 PM. Noel Mora, another cousin of ours and Reina, his wife, came over just as I was getting ready to go to the airport. Earlier, Ligia had stopped by the parish on the way over my parents’ to ask the priest to come by, but he had a cold and said he would send some Eucharistic Ministers over. At around 2:20 PM I said my goodbyes; I kissed Papá and said goodbye to him; I told him that we would see each other again, in a different place, but that we would meet again for sure, assuming he had little time left and that he would die with me not being there; he assented and I left the room. Alejandro, Mireya (Alejandro’s fiancée who had been around and being part of the whole process) and I left for the airport; simultaneously, Noel and Reina decided to go fetch another priest.

 

As Alejandro was slowing down to drop me off at the airport at around 3:15 PM, Ana Gabriela called and said that Papá had died. I told Alejandro not to stop and  to drive back to San Antonio. I immediately called Jan and let her know; also left a message for Clarissa Ane. As we were turning, Ligia called and said he had not died; apparently, when the priest came and gave him the Last Rites, he exhaled with such relief and went into such a restful state that Ana Gabriela thought he had died. But Ligia also said the priest had confided with her that he thought Papá had no more than a few hours left; we kept on going back to San Antonio. We got back home at around 4PM and he had changed; he seemed to have gone into a calm sleep, breathing at a good rhythm; I told him that I was back and I believe he moved his eyebrows (I’d like to think he acknowledged that); I looked at his fingernails and they had changed: they were purple now… Nenón laid next to him and I stood bed-side watching his breathing. It started gradually to slow down and to get shallow; it went from a breath every three seconds to every five seconds and so on; every time the breathing got slower I would take his pulse, and it was still there. When it got to about 10 seconds apart I called Ligia who was in the living room with all the visitors and she came in and sat next to him on the side of the bed. At 4:20 the breathing stopped; I checked his pulse by his neck and his wrist and there was none; he was gone. It started to rain, actually to storm heavily. I called Jan again and let her know it was for sure this time. I called Clarissa Ane whom I asked to call Valentina. I called Manolo who said he was on his way. I called my boss and let him know. I called the airline to change flights to Wednesday. While I was doing all this calling, Ana Gabriela – as a lawyer – was making all the needed calls to all pertinent bodies to put all the administrative, legal and logistics wheels in motion. Manolo came with Milena, his oldest sister, and filled out all the medical/legal forms for Ana Gabriela. Even though Papá had prepaid funeral services and a burial plot of land, we decided in a family conclave not to use the funeral services since that part of town had gone real bad since Papá had bought those services, and to cremate him as it had been his wish, instead of using the land. The funeral and cremation were scheduled for Monday. Alejandro took me to a store to buy funeral clothes since I had not gone prepared for this. At about 10:30PM the funeral home came to take his body away; Ligia had selected the clothes Papá would wear last. Everybody left. Nenón had a rough night, the third one in a row; with her heart condition, rest (along with medication and diet) is one of the key elements to prolong her life and she had had none lately…

 

On Monday the 13^th the viewing was from 11:00AM to around 3:00PM; many people came, many of them Rodríguez cousins who had met him in the family reunions, and had come to appreciate him as the oldest of all cousins. On my mother’s side three of our cousins came: Noel, Carolina (Nicolas’ daughter) and Charito (Luis’ sister). Luis called all sad since he could not be there (could not find a way to get back to Caracas in time). Nicolas, one of Nenón’s brothers came and Priscilla, one of Nenón’s sisters (Noel’s mother) also came. Many of Ligia’s neighbors and old and new friends, most of Cesar’s brother and sisters, Ana Gabriela’s friends and Salvador’s family, Alejandro and Mireya’s boss and coworkers (closed the office) also came. Manolo was there. At around 3:00PM staff from the crematorium came with forms for Nenón to sign and release the body for cremation; they took him away. I received his ashes and signed the receipt at around 5PM; and we all left. Alejandro gave Manolo and two of his co-workers a ride, along with Mireya. Ana Gabriela and Salvador rode in their car. Cesar, Ligia Nenón, Papá (now in a little box on my lap) and I rode back to Ligia’s. Later Nenón had the roughest night yet… They had been married for 58 years, two months and 27 days.

 

As a family, we decided that Nenón will eventually move in with Ligia; she weighted her wants/needs for being still the mistress of her household versus having full companionship from, and be useful to, Ligia; she agreed to the move. Meanwhile they will take their time to properly dispose of her household, in an orderly and sensible manner. Also eventually, Ana Gabriela and Salvador will move into Nenón’s current apartment. Meanwhile, Nenón and Ligia will sleep in the same place, some nights at Nenón’s, most times at Ligia’s, until all is done.

 

I left Venezuela on Wednesday October 15^th in the afternoon and it was still raining…

 

My Father

I am going to see Papá this weekend; leaving from Miami after work on Friday evening, an 8:30 PM flight, and coming back on Sunday evening. It is a very short trip (expensive one too - $1,000 bucks for the ticket), but it is the best I can do right now given the fact that I just started a new job in July and have no vacations yet...

Some time ago, about three month, my father self-diagnosed with terminal cancer; now, I learned recently (last week) from Ligia - my sister, he does have cancer and has had it for a while; he has had bone cancer for over 3 years, but the oncologist has always said that there is nothing to do and nothing to worry about. So, about three month ago he fell and injured a leg he had broken some 10 years ago. Since the pain did not go away in a couple of days (he's almost 87 years old and it takes longer to recover at that age) he decided the bone cancer had gone critical and, therefore, he was cooked, done, ready to check-out.

I, and probably many others, told him that it was true, he was dying, but then again we all were, and that the only difference is that some people had more time left that others. Apparently he saw the reason and simplicity of that kind of thinking and decided to live again. Two days later, coming back to their apartment, he fell on the stairs and broke one of his pinky fingers. That seems to have triggered the thoughts of not being any good for anything anymore except to embarrass himself and others. And this has changed his mental profile to the point of losing completely his appetite and, in a broader sense, his will to live. 

As he grew weaker, Ligia took him to the doctor's who in turn had him put in the hospital to rehydrate, re-nourish and transfuse blood into him since he had grown anemic. He ate and drank at the hospital and, after one week of progress and having verified he was physically able to eat, drink and dispose of waste, they sent him home last week-end.

Once home, apparently he has reverted back to his old ways of not wanting to eat at all. The object of my going there is not to recriminate him or call him to order or to make him eat; he's heard all that already. Instead, I am only going to see him (maybe for the last time?), to listen to him and see if I can instill on him a glimmer of hope that there is a future for all of us, regardless how short it may be...

Irrationalities...

Human relations are so multidimensional, and those dimensions are so interrelated that sometimes their complexity goes beyond a normal level of understanding capability. Some couples are generally happy day in and day out and things seem to be pretty smooth; and then, out of nowhere, some inexplicable and seemingly dormant irrationality rears its ugly head; in those moments people tend/need to go back to an almost primitive stage of the relationship in search of re-validation and re-verification that things are OK and have a chance to work out...

My friend and his wife have that seemingly smooth type of relationship; but she has some nuances that every so often send him in that search. She has an almost pathological aversion to be taught or led by him and her almost obsessive competitiveness does not allow her to reasonably recognize he may know more than she knows about certain subjects. So, when he tries to either teach her something or point somethings out which she does not understand, she gets so irrationally upset that seems to be willing to put their whole relationship on the line by taking dismissive/unilateral actions instead of reasoning about it... He, on the other hand, has known for a long time about her phobias; he has identified them himself, analyzed and labeled their root cause and become aware of the triggers; but, instead of avoiding/defusing the situation, continues to provoke incidents and get extremely upset with her reactions.

Now, these are two extremely bright human beings who, when they find themselves in such a situation, inhibit their intellect and dive - head first - into a sea of irrationalities, and remain immersed down there for a time long enough to threaten irreversible damage...

Comments...?

Financial Uncertainty...

Amazing how things change... Last year, at about this time, I was retired and siting pretty on investments that were performing less brilliantly than in previous months but still doing quite well... Since then, and under the suggestion of our financial advisor, I had to go back to the workforce and take a job in - again - Technologies. Our savings have been depleted by about 31% and I needed the 'predictability' of a corporate job.

However, something else has come about: as I took this new job, I realized that I was putting on hold what I really wanted to do, coaching, because I needed the previously mentioned revenue predictability. Now, the idea of diversifying one's income was floated in front of me this morning and since then it has started to take hold... Maybe I can still bring back to life my coaching dream and, with a little extra effort, start building a coaching practice...